I'm guessing you've experienced this...
You're going about your day minding your own business.
And then it happens... someone asks something of you that you do not want to do.
But you say yes anyway.
Maybe you even fake enthusiasm.
"Oh I'm happy to take on that assignment - it should be fun" or
"sure, I'll take off work and take Kendra to the dentist, it's not a problem" even though you're swamped at work.
Or maybe you don't fake enthusiasm because you know the task is going to suck, but you say yes anyway.
(And maybe you say yes grudgingly letting the other person
know you're not happy!)
And after you say yes, you may feel frustrated, resigned, ashamed for not wanting to do this task, or angry that you said yes and now you've committed to this.
These feelings are the worst!
We all do this.
We say yes to things that are really no's for us.
And many of us make it even worse by beating ourselves up for saying yes to something we don't want to do!
So we feel doubly worse.
We feel crappy because we now have to do something we don't want to do and we double down on those feelings by beating ourselves up over saying yes.
It's a lose-lose situation that negatively impacts our self-esteem.
The good news is that we can learn to say no in ways that honor our needs & still be kind to others.
That's what this course is all about.
This course is centered around 3 topics:
Yes versus No
Explore what a "yes" and "no" feel like in your body.
Saying No Kindly
Learn ways to say no that are respectful and kind. Without overexplaining your reason for saying no.
Mine versus Yours
Identify your piece in the interaction, as well as the other person's piece. And learn tools to separate what's yours to take on and what's theirs to work through.
Together these three pillars can help us say no and not feel bad about it.
The Reality of Saying No
Saying no is an important part of our growth - as much as saying yes.
Saying no helps us define our boundaries and honor what we really need.
Saying yes when want to say no makes us feel bad - it has a negative effect on our self-esteem and self-worth.
But many of us weren't taught that no is as important as yes!
In fact, we may never have gotten a chance to explore saying no to people.
We may have learned that it hurts others when we say no or that it makes us selfish when we say no.
The truth is that saying no to things we don't want to do helps us feel happier and more confident.
These feelings allow us to treat others better because we're not depleted, frustrated, or resentful at doing something we don't want to do.
And it can be extra hard when it involves people we love like partners, children, family members or friends.
How do we say no in ways that minimize harm to the other person?
How do we say no when we know it's going to piss off or disappoint the other person?
How do we say no at work when we want to make a good impression on our boss(es) and advance within our organization?
How do we say no without overexplaining why?
And how do we say no without feeling guilty or ashamed?
There's no magical formula for saying no. It takes clarity, courage, and a willingness to have courageous conversations.
But there are tools we can use to make the process easier on us and on the other person.
Join me on Tuesday, June 15th at 8pm eastern for a 90-minute class where we'll explore the Power of Saying No.
We'll talk about:
Why it's hard to say no
Saying no in work situations versus personal relationships
Different ways to say no that are kind (yet firm)
Why we may feel guilt or shame for saying no
I'll also share how I say no to people that hasn't yet led to an objection or push back.
And it's Authentic. And Honest.
The cost is $55.
Who is this class for?
Anyone who desires to say no to things they don't want to do!
How long is the class?
It's a 90-minute class on Tuesday, June 15th at
8pm est / 7pm cst / 5pm pst.
What's going to happen during class?
I'll be teaching practical tips and tools for saying no confidently.
We'll have time for discussion and Q&A.
How much is the class?
Do you offer refunds?
How do I access class?
Class will be held online via Zoom. The Zoom link will be sent after you register for class.
Thank you so much for your work over the years in crystallizing this guidance. I felt your teaching was so effective, clear, gentle, kind, and thoughtful. You organized the information you wanted to convey so effectively, and you are really a wonderful teacher. You did an excellent job of guiding and holding space for the practice segments.
I just wanted to say thank you for a wonderful class! I loved it. Also wanted to share with you that today I had a transformative experience related to my business, which came directly from wisdom I heard yesterday.
Alyssa has a unique and broad palette of talents. As a teacher, her courses are very grounded, well-planned and casual.